The Complete Guide to Shower Sex

1. Have Your Protection Ready

One of the best things about shower sex is that it can be a departure from your normal routine.

If you and your partner usually get busy in the bedroom, getting steamy together in the shower can be an exciting change of pace. However, don’t let shaking things up mean that you aren’t prepared. If you and your partner use protection like condoms or a diaphragm, make sure that they are ready to go beforehand. Nothing kills the mood like having to jump out of a warm shower while dripping wet to locate a condom and then wrestle with its slippery wrapper. To keep things sexy and safe, have your protection ready to go before you hop in the shower together so you’ll be ready to go. Just keep in mind if you're using condoms that certain soaps and oils can degrade the condom, which can lead to potential breaks. To play it safe, the only products that should come in contact with the condom are quality, condom compatible water-based, silicone-based lube, or hybrid lube.

2. Soap Each Other Up

As any shower sex aficionado can tell you, the real fun isn’t just in doing the deed.

Being in close, steamy quarters with your partner also presents the opportunity for some seriously sensual foreplay, so be sure to take your time and enjoy it. Lather each other up and really take the time to enjoy each other’s body. Take advantage of the setting to experiment with different textures and sensations while you tease each other. Use soaps, oils, washcloths, and loofahs to stimulate each other’s senses. Just be creative and have fun with it.

3. Keep Both Feet On the Ground

While the sexy mood and the confined space of a shower might inspire you and your partner to try some more acrobatic positions, be careful.

The reality of a slippery shower wall and floor means that you should probably stick to positions that aren't going to send you both on a highly embarrassing trip to the emergency room. Ideally, these are positions that will provide you with the most balance and involve you keeping both feet on the floor and maybe investing in a non-slip bathmat. Here are four positions you can try:

• Against the wall

In this sex position, one partner pushes the other up against the shower wall and enters them from behind. This provides plenty of balance for both partners as well as an added erotic experience for the person pressed up against the cool tile wall.

• Bent over

This is similar to the last position; except this time the receiving partner is bent over at the waist. This allows for deep penetration as well as providing an opportunity for the partner who is bent over to grab onto something for more stability.

• Seated

If you don’t want to risk a slip-and-fall situation, staying seated might be the best way to go. One partner sits on the floor of the shower while the other partner mounts them. This sex position feels as sexy and intimate as it is stable.

• Standing

This position doesn’t work for everyone because both partners have to be pretty well matched up height-wise, however, if you and your partner can manage it, this is an extremely erotic position as well.

4. Use (the Right) Lube for Shower Sex

One of the absolute most critical components to having killer shower sex is using lube.

While half the fun of taking a shower together is getting all slippery, on its own, water is not a great lubricant. To make things worse, it tends to wash away whatever natural lubrication your body may produce, leaving you with a pretty uncomfortable situation. There’s nothing worse than getting all worked up with your partner and then not be able to do the deed because you’re dealing with too much friction, so don’t forget to have a quality lube on standby. Grabbing the wrong lube can be as bad as not having lube at all, so you’ll want to make sure that you get the right kind ahead of time. Here’s what you need to know:

Shower Lube Don'ts:

• Water-based lube: While the natural feel of water-based lube makes it one of the most popular kinds of lube on the market, it isn’t ideal for having sex in running water because it can be easily washed away. Keep this one in the bedroom.
• Oil-based lube: Not only should oil-based lubes not be used in the shower, but they can degrade the integrity of condoms, making them porous or causing tears. They can also be messy and hard to clean.

Shower Lube Dos:

• Silicone-based lube: Unlike water-based lubes, silicone-based lubes won’t wash away in water, making them ideal for some wet, slippery fun. Just be careful not to use silicone-based lube on any silicone toys you may have as it can cause damage to them. We like ASTROGLIDE X Silicone Gel for long-lasting water play and condom-compatibility. Caution: Make sure that you're aware of spills. While silicone lubes provide slippery fun when applied to your body, they're not so fun on the slick surfaces of your shower and or bathtub. Wipe up any spills so you don't wipe out yourself!

Make sure that you have silicone lube close by before you hop in the shower.

When you’re ready to move past the foreplay, you’ll be glad to have the lube near. Find the lube that's best for you here.

Shower sex is kind of like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Sometimes it gets a little too hot (passion + soap and water can slip up even the best of us). Sometimes it’s just a little too cold (like literally, you have to share one stream of water). And sometimes, it’s exactly the type of steamy adventure you’re hoping for. Whether you consider yourself a shower sex newbie or a seasoned pro, there’s always room for improvement! With these expert shower sex tips, you’ll be rub-a-dub-dubbing to your heart’s content. “Shower sex usually gets a bad rep, but it’s not all bad,” shares Isharna Walsh, Founder and CEO of Coral. “According to this study, 66% of women and 64% of men who were satisfied in their relationship had taken a shower or bath together. With the right preparation, positions, and mindset, you can definitely make it work. Also, if you expand your definition of sex beyond penetration, it can be the source of a lot of pleasure,” states Walsh. 

Shower Sex Do’s

• DO embrace the novelty. Let’s be real: shower sex can get a little finicky. Especially if it’s your first time, it can take a little time to find the positions and water temperature that works for you. Amy Baldwin, Sex Educator, Sex and Relationship Coach and Co-Host of the Shameless Sex Podcast, echoes this sentiment and recommends you take the time to relax, let go, and maybe even be louder than usual. “Shower sex is great for privacy! Maybe you have housemates, maybe you have children… No matter what, others in a shared living space understand that the shower is a private area. You won’t have to worry about any intrusions. The shower also keeps things discreet— whether it’s for solo play or sex with your partner, the sound of running water can perfectly muffle the sound of your pleasure. Don’t be afraid to relax and immerse yourself in this private space.” Baldwin adds:
• DO try it when you’re looking for a change. “Shower sex can be amazing because it provides a feeling of newness and exploration. There are a lot of steamy shower scenes in mainstream media, and for good reason! The setting of your shower allows you to get away from your usual bedroom routine. It can be hard to explore other spaces outside of the bedroom, and the shower makes for an easily accessible location change. Give it a try when you’re looking for that new spark. The simple change of scenery and aesthetics can spice up your sexual play more than you think!”
• DO set the mood. Not a lot of people are comfortable with the idea of showering with their partners. There’s a lot of vulnerability in shower sex. You can make your partner more comfortable by turning on some music, dimming the lights, or lighting some candles.
• DO enjoy a steamy make-out session. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to feel each other’s slippery, soaped-up bodies because you’re too focused on penetration. It’s a sensation that isn’t easily replicable outside the shower, and it’s a great way to start foreplay.

Deon Black, Sex Coach at Let’s Talk Sex, agrees that the shower is a perfect setting for foreplay. “Use a scrub or sponge to massage your partner’s back and slowly get intimate. The water and pleasant smell will make it all the more magical.” In order to keep things going smoothly, Graveris adds “Keep the shower head on your legs or torso region. Instead of hitting your heads or faces with water, angle it on your partner’s backs, chests, and legs. Avoid hitting your genitals with water too as it can cause more friction, making sex uncomfortable.” Walsh echoes this thinking and suggests you angle the showerhead towards the shower wall as “It creates a sauna-like effect in your shower and minimizes the possibility that water will wash away lubricants.” Tara Struyk, Co-Founder of Kinkly, shares:

• DO use lube but choose carefully! Water can actually make things a bit sticky when it comes to intercourse, hand-jobs or any skin-on-skin friction. Lube to the rescue! Silicone lube is your best bet here – it’s waterproof, so it won’t wash straight down the drain. However, do be careful about how you apply this stuff! Just like it can make bodies slippery, it can also make shower and bathtub floors dangerously slick – apply with caution! Walsh adds “If you want to have penetrative sex, but don’t want to risk the lubrication washing away, switch up your location part of the way through. You can stick to non-penetrative forms of sex while you’re in the shower, then P-in-V in bed (or the bathroom counter, or wherever suits your fancy). Just make sure you’ve got a heater going or a pile of towels waiting for you when you get out!” Struyk continues:
• DO use props and bring toys! One downside to having sex in the shower or tub is getting leverage, especially while standing. Having something to hold onto besides your partner really helps. Scope out your tub for safe things to lean, grab or put a foot onto. If you don’t have one and shower sex is your thing, consider installing a sturdy grab bar in a way that suits you.

Many sex toys are waterproof and fully submersible these days. If you think it’ll add to the experience, don’t hesitate to bring one (or a few) along. Kelly Nolan, owner of the website Lush Sensation, reiterates Struyk’s insight sharing “Water-proof vibrators are a great way to pleasure yourself while doing some seductive maneuvers on your partner. One of the best options for waterproof vibrators is the “Love Honey Silencer” which is one of the most reviewed toys available. Just remember, water-based lube works best with silicone products, while silicone lube works best for wet play! Do not use silicone lube with silicone-based sex toy products!” Graveris adds:

• DO keep the water temperature lukewarm (not too hot, not too cold). It’s hard to get in the mood and keep it up when you’re both doing it in cold water. A hot shower + sex workout can also overheat your body. You may start feeling lightheaded and lose your balance, ultimately leading to severe injuries.
• DO maximize the space you have in the shower. Make the most of the amount of space that you have for shower sex. Pick up towels, razors, and keep random bottles away, so you have more space.

Shower Sex Don’ts

• DON’T focus only on penetrative sex. Shower sex is not all about vaginal or anal sex till you hit the big O. Many couples claim that they don’t usually get off from having sex in the shower. Use the shower to engage in other types of play before sex, like exploring each other’s body and oral sex. You can even make post-sex more intimate by taking a shower together.
• DON’T forget to use a condom. Even if shower sex appears clean, it will not protect you 100% from STIs. Use a condom for oral and penetrative sex.
• DON’T stay too long in the shower. Wet and moist areas of the body are where bacteria and fungi thrive. Stay away from potential infections by drying your bodies properly after shower sex.
• DON’T stay in one spot. Shower sex is at its best when you can play with your positions and angles. I would recommend a shower with a bathtub in it because it will provide a ledge for you to step onto, prop up your leg, or lean up against. This way, you can play with the angles, levels, and positioning of the space around you. Because all bodies are different, it can be difficult to recommend any specific sex position for this. Standing in the shower means that you’ll be dealing with all different body strengths, heights, and shapes that work differently. Experiment with the space to discover which angles suit your body best! Alex Miller, Sexologist for Orchid Toys adds:
• DON’T put your body weight on anything that is not totally secure and slip-resistant. Don’t hold on to anything that isn’t a real grab bar or made for such purposes. Soap dishes, shower doors, and the like may not be anchored directly into wall studs and sheetrock/tile anchors cannot support a full-grown person’s body weight, especially when rocking back and forth.
• DON’T try weird sex positions. Trying weird sex positions may not be safe in the shower and can lead to injuries. This is highly important as you want to be sure that sex in the shower is pleasurable during and after.

Struyk agrees that you should not get too ambitious with your shower sex positions, sharing “We’re all for testing your limits with a new and challenging sex position, but the tub isn’t the place to do it. It’s slippery, there isn’t a lot to hold on to and if you do fall, you are likely to hit your head on something hard! Stick with positions you are already comfortable with on solid ground and save experimenting for safer spaces.” Struyk continues:

• DON’T use soap as lube. You can use it to wash yourself, or even to give your partner a sexy show while you do it, but don’t use soap as lube. It’s much too harsh, particularly for vulvas.
• DON’T stress! Shower sex is always not perfect or easy, especially if it’s your first time. If you’re just trying it out and find it’s not actually working for you and your partner, then don’t be scared to move elsewhere. You can take it to the bedroom and try again on another day.

Sex and Relationship Expert, Jonathan White, adds “Don’t take shower sex too seriously. There may be some awkward moments, especially trying to get into the right position. Make it fun and lighthearted!” Now that you’ve mastered the art of shower sex on paper, it’s time to put what you’ve learned into action with these shower sex positions, recommended by ASTROGLIDE’s own sexologist, Dr. Jess O’Reilly. 

Shower Sex Positions

Stand and Steam: Stand in the shower and allow the steam to further heat things up. You can get down on your knees and go down on your partner or lift a leg around their waist. And of course, you can look across or up into their eyes and play with the power of engaging in eye contact and playfully looking away. 

Modified Standing Missionary: If missionary is your favorite, you’ll likely struggle to lie down unless you’re lucky enough to have an oversized shower. If you do, consider a padded bathmat and inflatable tub pillows for comfort. If lying down isn’t an option, try a modified standing-missionary position. Stand facing one another and have one partner bend their leg and place their foot on the side of the tub or on a shower stool so that you can get even closer. 

Tub Love: One partner sits in the tub with their legs outstretched (or knees slightly bent) and the other sits on top facing away to control the tempo and rhythm. 

Spread ‘Em: One partner spreads their legs and arms out so that their body assumes the shape of an “X”. The other slides in from behind pressing the front partner’s hands and body into the cold, wet wall. 

Bend Over Baby: One partner bends from the hips at a 90-degree angle using the wall as support. The other enters from behind with their hands on the bent partner’s hips. 

Shower Exhibition: Both partners stand upright for rear entry or approach (this works for penetrative sex with a penis or strap-on and for oral from behind). The front partner presses their body against the glass so that you can play with the fantasy of showing off and being watched. 

Use Your Shower Stool: If you have the space for a shower stool and it is stable, you can use it as a position prop. Bend over the stool with your feet on one side and your hands on the ground on the other side as your partner approaches from behind (for oral or intercourse). 

To Give Oral to Someone with a Penis: Have them stand with their back against the wall and get down on your knees. If you’re under the flow of water, make sure you have space to breathe. 

To Give Oral to Someone with a Vagina: Have them stand upright and place one foot up on the side of the tub or on a shower stool. Sit or kneel beneath them. O’Reilly adds “Regardless of position or sex act, consider slowing your breath and breathing in sync. Couples can experience physiological synchronization and the shared connection can help to put you at ease and encourage you to be more present in the moment, which can lead to heightened pleasure and intimacy. All in all, shower sex should be a fun, exhilarating, and intimate experience for you and your partner (or favorite toy!). Go at your own pace, be communicative with one another, and of course, don’t forget the ASTROGLIDE! April showers bring May flowers, and really awesome orgasms too, so we’re told.

So, what do you think of our guide to shower sex?

Are there any tips or tricks you’d like to add, to your favorite waterproof sex toy or position? Tweet us @ASTROGLIDE and tell us what you think.   

Sources: Isharna Walsh, Founder and CEO of Coral. Amy Baldwin, Sex Educator, Sex and Relationship Coach and Co-Host of the Shameless Sex Podcast Deon Black, Sex Coach at Let’s Talk Sex Tara Struyk, Co-Founder of Kinkly Kelly Nolan, owner of the website Lush Sensation Dainis Graveris, Certified Sex Educator and Relationship Expert at SexualAlpha Alex Miller, Sexologist for Orchid Toys Jonathan White, Sex and Relationship Expert