10 Tips for Better Oral SexBy Dr. Jess Sexual Health
Oral Sex Tips for Women
1. Slow down.
When we’re excited, our minds race and our bodies stumble to keep pace. In the heat of the moment, our caresses often become slovenly gropes and our lustful kisses deteriorate into something from a bad romance novel.
Though the wanton passion may represent your carnal desire, bear in mind that your partner may be moving at a different pace. If she has suggested that she’d like you to slow down or ease up, try touching her with only the backs of your hands for the first few minutes for a change of pressure and tempo.
2. Give her a nose job.
No, I’m not suggesting you make out with her nostrils — though nasolingus is, indeed, a thing!
Have you ever touched the tip of your nose? It has a unique spring-like texture that offers the perfect balance between firm and flexible. Apply a drop of strawberry lube and run your nose down the center of her vulva — roll it around in a large circle around the edges or slide it right inside as you nod your head up and down and back and forth. Breathe deeply and let your natural sounds flow freely to let her know just how much you love it.
3. Create a delicious suction cup while you roll your tongue.
Open your mouth as wide as you can and press it against her vulva. Suck away as you roll your tongue around the edges of your lips to create your own suction cup.
4. Use the palm of your hand.
Forget fingering (for now) and use your entire hand to take your partner’s genital pleasure to new heights. Place a flat hand against her vulva (as though you’re cupping it) and apply pressure as you slide up and down. You’ll need lots of lube for this one!
5. Pay attention to the Mons Veneris.
Also known as the Venus Mound, the soft patch of skin above the vulva is the key to orgasm for many women, as sucking, stroking, and rubbing this region also massages the shaft of her inner clitoris. While you’re going down on her, use three fingers to gently press upward on the bottom section of her Venus Mound while using her hip movements and breath patterns to guide your rhythm.
6. Stroke the legs and bulbs of her clitoris.
Her inner clitoris is just as important as the pearl-like head that peers over the top of her vulva — the legs and bulbs can be stimulated through her labia with the right amount of pressure. Use the tip of your tongue to tease between her lips during the early stages of foreplay and use your lips and cheeks (covered in lube) to increase the pressure.
As she gets closer to orgasm, stroke your tongue from the head of her clitoris right down to the fourchette (where the lips meet at the bottom) while pressing your thumbs firmly into the fleshy parts of her outer lips so that she has a grounded surface against which to grind.
7. Give her a hummer.
It’s no surprise that vibrators are growing in popularity, so try combining oral sex with her favorite vibe to give her the best of both worlds. You can stretch a flexible vibrating toy around your tongue, hold a small flat toy against her Venus Mound or simply moan deeply while you’re eating her out to create natural vibrations which are key for oral stimulation.
8. Talk with your mouth full.
Forget your manners and talk while you’re down there to let her know just how much you love it. Tell her how good it feels, how hot she looks, and just how badly you want to taste her.
During orgasm, she experiences a series of contractions that begin in the pelvic region but can spread across the body in waves of pleasure. To induce these orgasmic contractions and increase their intensity, press a wide flat surface (for example, your tongue, the palm of your hand, or a flat vibrating toy) against the length of her vulva or the head of her clitoris and pulse gently.
10. Try a new position.
Most couples engage in oral intercourse with the receiving partner on their back. This not only limits their sexual activity, but the repetition can render even the hottest techniques boring. Change things up with these suggestions:
● Flip her onto her stomach.
● Ask her to get down all fours.
● Pull her legs off the side of the bed.
● Have her bend one leg up onto the couch while standing.
● Place her ankles in her hands while she lies on her back.
● Let her sit on your face and wrap her legs right around you.
● Lie on your sides facing one another.
● Lift her onto the kitchen counter and pull up a chair.
Oral Sex Tips for Men
11. Don’t go straight to your “money-move” if you plan on offering a full-service blow job.
We each have our go-to move that is designed to seal the deal and finish him off, but many of us make the mistake of pulling out all the stops too early in the episode. Beginning with the hottest move makes it difficult to build toward a crescendo and maintain the excitement and endurance needed to reach climax. And since your go-to technique presumably involves more friction, speed, pressure, and suction, your jaw, tongue, lips and facial muscles are likely to tire prematurely.
Instead of going for the gold right away, rile him into a frenzy with a feather-light touch, teasing licks, wet kisses, shallow sucks, and heavy breathing so that by the time you get to your money-move, he’s bursting with excitement!
12. Try “The Cheater.”
This move is a life-changer! Use your fingers on the outside of your lips to squeeze them together as you suck. Your jaw will get a break and you’ll create an extra-tight squeeze that will make his toes curl. I like to use a few drops of lube on the inside of my lips for this one since it creates additional friction as you suck and slide.
13. Stimulate the inner penis.
Use two fingers or a toy to press into the perineum just behind the balls to stimulate the inner penile bulb as you suck on his penis. Increase the pressure as his arousal intensifies and stroke firmly back and forth (a tiny movement will do) in rhythm with your sucking.
14. Play with the boys.
No two sets of balls are the same, so you’ll want to ask him how to touch, suck, lick and cup according to his specific tastes. Generally, the balls are more sensitive to light touch during the early stages of arousal and can handle a bit more pressure as pleasure peaks, but I advise that you ask for direction even if it means you have to talk with your mouth full.
15. Reverse the positioning of your tongue.
Most blow jobs involve placing the tongue against the underside of the penis as you suck, as this allows you to lower your mouth farther along the shaft. But the underside of the tongue offers a soft, gentle texture worth exploring. Try a few shallow sucks with the underside of your tongue on the upper side of the penis alternating with deeper swallows in the traditional position.
16. Try “The Supermodel.”
As you suck from base to tip, suck your cheeks in with enthusiasm as though you’re a supermodel offering an exaggerated pose to highlight your cheekbones. Your inner cheeks will offer some added warmth, texture and suction to the oft-neglected sides of his shaft as you fully envelop him in a 360-degree embrace.
17. Use your hands too!
You don’t get style-points for riding hands-free during a blow job, so put your slippery, strong, sensual lubed-up fingers to good use. Create a ring around the base of the penis or use two hands to create a tight band around the base and both testes. Alternatively, use your hands to gently cup his balls, stroke his inner thighs, stimulate his nipples, rub the lower third of his shaft, follow the rhythm of his hips or reach down and touch yourself! The more aroused you are, the more enthusiasm you’ll show while going down.
18. Use lube!
When it comes to oral, a little lube goes a long way. You can use your lips to apply lube to his head, shaft, balls, and perineum or simply add a few drops to the frenulum (the spot right behind the underside of the head) to increase sensitivity while you stroke, kiss, and suck away.
19. Swallow while you suck to perform “throat Kegels.”
As you get more comfortable taking him into the back of your mouth, try “throat Kegels” to create pressure around his shaft and mimic the sensation of swallowing: lower your lips two-thirds of the way down and swallow deeply exaggerating the sounds and gulping sensations.
20. Create good vibrations.
Roll a small vibrating toy along his perineum, balls, penile base, or overall genital area during oral or press it against the outside of your cheeks for a lower-intensity sensation. I like the We-Vibe Tango or Touch which are waterproof and offer a range of settings for newbies and vibe-experts alike. You can learn more about sex toys for couples here!
You don’t need a special occasion to bring some new techniques into the bedroom. After all, why not try a few of these tips on your next encounter with your special someone? Not sure where to start? Don’t be afraid to ask your partner what sounds best to them — after all, sometimes talking about sex is all the foreplay you’ll need.
Images are for illustrative purposes only.