Ah, the elusive threesome, the crowned jewel of sexual encounters. Ménage à trois, DP, group sex, we’ve heard it all before. Many want it, but only a few can have it. Until now. Don’t get us wrong, sex with one partner is great, but sex with multiple, now that’s where it’s at. We want everyone to experience the beauty and glory that comes with engaging in sex with multiple partners at once and trying different positions, so here’s your guide to everything that you need to know about threesomes. 

For anyone not familiar with what actually counts as a threesome, according to Dr. Jess O’Reilly, ASTROGLIDE’s Resident Sexologist, “you define the threesome! It can be a threesome in which all three people play together, or one person may opt to watch. You may play as a vee (one person plays with two others, but the others don’t play with each other), or you might play in person or online. You can certainly have a virtual threesome, though many people opt to draw the line at virtual partners. There are no rules when it comes to defining sex — it’s up to you to define what works for you and your partner(s).” What could be better?   If you’ve ever fantasized about engaging in group sex, you’re not alone. Seriously, you’re very much not alone. According to Dr. Justin Lehmiller, ASTROGLIDE’s Resident Sex Researcher and Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute, via The Guardian, “a threesome is the most common sexual fantasy among Americans, according to a survey of 4,175 individuals. Of the highly diverse sample aged 18 to 87, 95% of men and 87% of women said they had fantasized about sex with multiple partners.” That’s a lot of people who have thought about engaging in group sex.  There are many reasons people may fantasize about this. In fact, “singles and couples may seek threesomes to fulfill a range of fantasies — from being dominated to being adored to feeling overwhelmed with physical attention and pleasure. You don’t necessarily need to understand the root of a desire to enjoy its many outcomes,” says Dr. Jess.    

While we have you here, another note on threesomes: finding threesome partners can be challenging, so read this article in Cosmopolitan about four women’s experiences looking for partners. There’s also this article in Cosmopolitan that can help, too.  A key takeaway: open and honest conversation is KEY to finding partners! Be clear throughout the entire process – about what you’re comfortable with in the bedroom, and not comfortable with. Talk about your hopes, dreams, and desires for the experience. Overcommunicating is better than under-communicating, so be sure to communicate about what safe sex means for you – physically and emotionally.  Dr. Jess also suggests that when finding a trustworthy partner, “most people seek friends and acquaintances for threesomes. One notable exception: some people who want a threesome as part of a couple prefer to seek a stranger as a partner (perhaps as a perceived safeguard to their coupled relationship). Some people find threesomes at sex parties, swinger clubs, and on apps (e.g., 3somer).” Trust and communication are the foundations of any good experience, so try to find both during your search.     

Now, the part that you’ve been waiting for. The most important part of any threesome is the position, so keep reading about the best threesome sex positions to advance your knowledge of the sacred act. When attempting the hottest threesome positions by adding another partner into the mix, it can take more energy to reach the finish line. Courtesy of Men’s Health, try out any of these threesome sex positions for some ultimate pleasure:

Double Cowgirl

How to do it: While one partner straddles your waist and junk in a traditional cowgirl position, the other straddles your face allowing you to go down on them in this threesome sex position. 

Pro tip: The person sitting on your face can straddle you either way, but it’s typically better if they straddle you while facing the other partner, so they, too, can kiss and touch each other if they want.

The Doggy Train

How to do it: You’re the “caboose” of this train, penetrating your partner doggy-style. The middle partner is then either digitally penetrating or eating out the head of the train, who’s also on their knees, bent forward in a classic doggy-style position.

Double Oral

How to do it: Your two partners are on their knees in front of you, both blowing you at the same time. 

Pro tip: It’s best if one blower focuses on your balls while the other focuses on your penis. Depending on if you’re into it, one partner could actually be on their knees, rimming you from behind while the other person goes down on you from the front. Or try any of these threesome positions, from Women’s Health:

Shower Pleasure

How to do it: “If you have the space, take your threesome into the shower and take turns soaping one another up,” O’Reilly says. You can each take turns being the center of attention. The recipient can lead against the wall while the other four hands and two mouths explore. “Switch roles and don’t feel pressure to orgasm on the spot,” O’Reilly says. “You can always move to a more comfortable location as arousal builds."

Threeway Spoon

How to do it: This great position takes a bit of coordination and cooperation from everyone. To do it, lay on your sides and get into a spooning position. Two people penetrate the person in front of them, either vaginally or anally (in an MFF threesome, someone can wear a strap-on). Then, slowly thrust together. 

Penetration-Oral Tower

How to do it: Arguably the best known of all the hottest threesome positions, the Eiffel Tower blends oral and penetrative sex: If you’re in an MMF arrangement, the woman assumes doggy position while one man penetrates her from behind and she gives the third partner a blow job. If you’re in an FFM triad, have the man lie on his back while one partner rides him and the other sits on his face. The women can also lean forward to stimulate each other from this vantage point, keeping everyone in the mix.     

Sex Positions for Double Penetration, Courtesy of Dr. Jess:

One person can get on their hands and knees. Lover number two can penetrate from behind while the third slides in from down below. (One can slide into the vagina or mouth and the other into the anus.) 

One person lies on their back. The second lies on their back on top of the lower partner and guides them inside. The third lover kneels between their legs facing them to slide inside from there. 

One person lies on their back on the edge of the bed. The next stands over them to straddle them and slide inside. The third stands behind the second partner to slide inside as well. 

One person lies on their back. The next lies on top of them (facing them) to be penetrated. the third lies on top face down to penetrate the middle partner from behind.

Positions/Configurations for Two People Taking Turns Penetrating the Other, Thanks to Dr. Jess:

Choose any sex position for the two partners who are connecting through penetration — doggy style, cow-rider, missionary, lap dance, standing, spooning, etc. The third person also has many options: 

• Sit back and watch
• Play with the genitals of either partner with their hands
• Perform oral sex on the penetrating partner
• Perform oral sex on the partner who is being penetrated
• Guide the penetrating partner with their hands
• Make out with either party
• Play with themselves lying on the bed

Want to Bring Toys into the Threesome Positions Mix? Try Any of These Tactics, Courtesy of Dr. Jess:

• One or two people might wear a vibrating penis ring.
• One person might use a vibrating toy on either lover while the other two are having intercourse of any kind.
• One person might operate two vibrating toys and pleasure two lovers at once.
• Two people can wear strap-ons (and optionally add a vibrating penis ring) while penetrating the third lover.
• Any partner who isn’t being anally penetrated can wear a butt plug.
• You can also use a lay-on vibe like the Romp Wave for vibes between the bed and the bottom partner.

So, now that you’re equipped with this information about the best threesome sex positions, we trust that you’ll use it wisely. Happy humping!