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Tips & Tricks
Step-By-Step Finger Play You Can Only Do with Lube
Dr. Jess |
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couple in bed

Lube makes the world go 'round. While oral sex is sizzling hot, anything you can do with your tongue, you can also do with your fingers - as long as you have lube on-hand. And since you've got 10 fingers and only one tongue, the sensations you create with your fingers and lube can be even hotter. Learning how to finger someone is a fun way to bring foreplay and some sexual pleasure variety to your sex life. 

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Here are five fingering techniques you can try today (on anybody!) using only your hands, fingertip, and a few drops of the best intimate lubricant.

The Wet Trace 

This is one of my favorite foreplay and seduction moves. Create a wet path using your fingers covered in lube and then play with temperature using your breath. This builds anticipation, awakens nerve endings, and draws awareness and arousal across the surface of the entire body.

  1. Add a few drops of lube to the tip of your index finger (or several fingers)
  2. Trace the tip of your wet finger(s) over their body
  3. You might trace a V over their abdomen leading down to their genitals
  4. You might roll a few fingers down the nape of their neck
  5. You might slide in a snake-like pattern over their hottest spots
  6. You might curl your fingers around their chest
  7. You might start at the base of their genitals and paint a figure-eight over them from base to tip
  8. You might use three fingers to trace a long S-shaped pattern over their thighs. Their body is your wonderland, so get creative
  9. Once you've left a wet path, open your mouth wide and breathe warm, gentle air over the wet area slowly and sensually. Follow the wet path you've created with your fingertip.
  10. You can alternate between warm and cool air by pursing your lips to create the latter sensation

The Two Tongues 

What's better than one tongue? Two tongues! Create the sensation and weave the fantasy of multiple lovers using your tongue, a finger, and lube for some intense stimulation.

  1. Blindfold your lover and lick all around their hottest spots with your tongue
  2. Add a second "tongue" using a lubed-up finger
  3. Explore with broad strokes, short licks, ovals, figure-eights, and sensual touch twirls
  4. Weave the fantasy and ask them if they'd like to feel two tongues catering to their every need...

Remember that you can talk about fantasies and explore explicit details without any pressure to bring them to fruition in real life. If you're incorporating a new fantasy into your sex play, be sure to discuss your likes, dislikes, desires, and boundaries in advance.  

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Effleurage

Use your palms (or fingertip) to massage and touch the entire surface of their body in wide, sweeping movements.

  1. Slather your hands in an oil-based lube like Astroglide O Oil Liquid and Massage Lotion
  2. Start with both hands together in the middle of their back and slide them apart in large circular (or oval-shaped) motions before bringing them back together
  3. Take your time to feel the sensation of their skin and follow every contour of their body as you touch them sensually from head to toe
  4. You can opt to move both hands in unison or alternate between your right and left, keeping both palms pressed warmly against their skin the entire time. Don't get hung up on the technique beyond using your palms in sweeping motions in a way that feels natural for you

 

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Tantalizing Pulls

Create a unique sensation as you draw circulation to the surface of the skin and prime their body for pleasure

  1. Lather the tips of each of your five fingers in lube, resting gently on the surface of the skin (open your hand like you're giving a high five). You can utilize this touch technique across the entire body - from their legs and hands to their abdomen and the small of the back
  2. Little by little, ever-so-slowly, draw all five fingers together toward a center point maintaining the lightest touch possible
  3. When you arrive at the center, gradually extend your fingers back out into an outstretched position

This is a warm-up move designed for sexual pleasure and to pique their attention and help them to feel more connected to their own body - and to you, of course! 

The Cross My Fingers

This simple move takes fingering techniques to the next level.

  1. Cover your index and middle finger in a silicone or water-based lube
  2. Cross your fingers as you would if you were telling a lie
  3. Slide your crossed fingers inside and rotate gently from the wrist; keep your fingers relatively straight as you rotate gently with every insertion
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Man on top of woman with her hands on his bare back

Regardless of your partner's anatomy, be sure to warm the body up with foreplay before penetration. It's fun to slide inside, but external stimulation is essential to helping them to relax prior to internal play. Have fun, experiment, and always practice safer sex.

Dr. Jess
ASTROGLIDE’s Resident Sexologist

With a background in sex education training programs, sexual diversity and equity, Dr. Jess O’Reilly (PhD) has become the go-to sexpert. Our resident sexologist shares valuable health and relationship advice as the host of Playboy TV’s SWING, through public speaking events like TEDx Talks and in her best-selling books including The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love. To learn more, visit sexwithdrjess.com and check the Astroglide blog monthly for her exclusive features.