The Complete Guide to Gender Identity

By ASTROGLIDE Team

Today, there is a growing awareness about gender identity, including the realization that gender isn’t binary, and that gender is a separate concept from gender expression and sexual orientation. If you’ve ever been confused about gender expression, gender identity, nonbinary identities, gender fluidity or sexual orientation, don’t worry. We’ve got you covered with a comprehensive guide to all things gender.

What Is Gender?

While most people think of gender as synonymous with anatomical sexual organs, gender is actually different from sex. If you’ve ever heard someone talk about so-called “gender roles,” “gender stereotypes” or “gender norms” in society, you likely already have an idea of the difference.

Simply put, a person’s sex refers to the sexual organs they were born with, along with the chromosomes and hormones that define an individual as male or female.

Gender, on the other hand, describes the cultural norms or characteristics that denote male versus female — and sometimes something in between. In the West, we’re used to somewhat strict gender roles that lump males and females into narrowly drawn social constructs of what constitutes appropriate activities and aspirations for men and women. However, many other societies have much more fluid ideas about gender.

Different Types of Gender Around the World

People who live in the United States and the Commonwealth countries that make up the former British Empire typically think of gender as a “one versus the other” sort of thing. However, other countries around the world regard gender as something varied and far less rigidly defined.

For example, the Buginese people of Sulawesi — a small island in Indonesia — recognize a grand total of five genders. The first two are the typical male and female, which follow along with what westerners perceive as “normal.” However, another gender known as calalai refers to an anatomical female who treads somewhere between male and female. Likewise, the Buginese gender calabai describes an anatomical male who prefers to behave as a woman typically does. The Buginese also have a fifth metagender, the bissu, who are thought of as a combination of all genders and traditionally serve their communities as priests.

But out-of-the-box genders aren’t limited to Southeast Asia. Many Americans are surprised to learn that most Native American tribes recognized a third gender. Known as berdaches, this gender included both anatomical males and females. Male berdaches typically did work normally restricted to women, whereas female berdaches preferred the standard male warrior tasks like hunting and fighting. It was also common for berdaches to function in spiritual roles, such as shaman and healer.

The Buginese and berdaches demonstrate that, rather than operating as a sort of light switch that’s either up or down, gender is really more of a spectrum. For example, gender theorists note that the calalai and calabai genders in Sulawesi don’t necessarily desire to be a different sex. While they might wear certain clothing associated with one gender or the other, they occupy a sort of gray area in between western ideas of male and female.

What Is Gender Expression?

What does masculinity mean to you? What about femininity? As the Gill Foundation puts it, “[Gender expression] is usually an extension of our ‘gender identity,’ our innate sense of being male or female.”

But not always. For some people, gender expression isn’t really wrapped up in their gender identity. The easiest way to understand gender expression is to think of it as external. Whereas gender identity is how you feel on the inside, gender expression is how you choose to manifest your gender. For example, a woman can feel very much like a female while choosing to express stereotypical masculine or male-gendered clothing, hairstyles, and mannerisms.

Likewise, the majority of male transvestites — men who choose to wear women’s clothing — identify as heterosexual. Their gender identity is male, and they are sexually attracted to the opposite gender, but they choose to express gender in a traditionally female way.

Still, other people choose to express gender in an androgynous way or adhere to a nonbinary gender identity, meaning they combine both male and female forms of gender expression. Perhaps the most famous person to do this was David Bowie, who celebrated both male and female physical characteristics and clothing. Actor Diane Keaton also famously adopted male clothing and mannerisms in the movie “Annie Hall” — a style she would carry on throughout her life.

The bottom line is that gender expression is personal. Because it means different things to different people, it’s difficult to define — and that’s probably just as it should be.

Gender Identity vs. Sexual Orientation

If you feel a little confused about the terms and definitions that swirl around the subject of gender identity, you’re not alone. The main thing to remember is that gender is different from both anatomical sex and sexual orientation. According to Gender Spectrum, a resource for gender inclusivity, gender refers to how we see ourselves, whereas sexual orientation refers to who we’re physically, emotionally or romantically attracted to.

According to the Human Rights Campaign, sexual orientation is “an inherent or immutable enduring emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to other people.” Several studies have confirmed that sexual orientation is something that forms in the womb on a cellular level. And while a person can certainly choose whether to engage in sexual contact with one person or another, sexual attraction is something you’re born with.

Kelly Servick at Science points out that molecular biologists who studied identical twin brothers in 2014 detected “direct evidence of a ‘gay gene,’ by identifying a stretch on the X chromosome likely associated with homosexuality.” Additionally, other studies have found an even broader familial link when it comes to sexual orientation. Michael Sean Pepper and Beverley Kramer, academics and writers at The Conversation, write that research shows that “homosexual men are also more likely to have brothers that are also homosexual. Similarly, family studies show that lesbian women have more lesbian sisters than heterosexual women.”

Of course, heterosexuality and homosexuality aren’t the only games in town. The Kinsey Scale, which has been around since 1948, famously organized sexual orientation into a gradient numbering between 0 and 6, with 0 being “exclusively heterosexual” and 6 being “exclusively homosexual.” And you don’t have to be a math genius to know there is a whole lot of variation in between.

The University of California, Santa Barbara also offers a thorough guide to the various sexual orientations. On a very basic level, most people are either monosexual, which means they are solely attracted to one gender, or plurisexual, which means they feel attraction to multiple genders. Within monosexuality and plurisexuality, you’ll also find a wide range of sexual orientations and preferences.

• Aromantic – Not to be confused with asexuals, aromantics don’t desire a romantic relationship with another person. Some aromantics desire sex, but not the romantic relationship that comes with it. As one aromantic put it, “The feeling of being in love…I don’t experience that when I engage in sexual behaviors.”
• Asexual – Asexual people don’t feel sexual attraction toward any other person, regardless of that person’s sexual orientation. Unlike aromantics, however, they might feel romantic attraction toward another person, which is different from sexual attraction. There are also “aromantic asexuals,” who desire neither romance nor sex. However, this doesn’t mean that asexual people are incapable of feeling love or affection for others. An asexual person can care deeply about a family member, a pet or even a life partner without desiring a sexual relationship.
• Bisexual – Often shortened to “bi,” bisexuality describes an individual who feels sexual desire toward people of their own gender as well as people of another gender. And because gender can mean a lot of different things, bisexuality doesn’t always describe someone who is sexually attracted to men and women.
• Demisexual – Demisexuality describes someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction toward another person until they’ve first developed an emotional attachment. This can sound a little confusing since most people feel an emotional tug toward someone they also find physically attractive. For demisexuals, however, that physical component doesn’t appear at all until they have already formed a significant emotional attachment. A person can also be demisexual while also being heterosexual, homosexual or any type of sexual orientation. Demisexuals sometimes describe themselves as “gray asexuals,” because much of their sex drive is dependent on emotional attachment.
• Heterosexual – Heterosexuals, who are attracted to the opposite gender, make up the largest sexual orientation, so it’s perhaps no surprise that many social norms revolve around them. However, this is changing. According to a GLAAD study, 2017 was a record-breaking year for LGBTQ characters on television.
• Homosexual – Homosexuals are attracted to their own gender. According to a 2015 Gallup poll, 23 percent of Americans identify as gay or lesbian. At the same time, American attitudes toward homosexuality are changing. A Pew report says that 57 percent of U.S. residents opposed same-sex marriage in 2001. In 2017, the majority of Americans (62 percent) supported it.
• Pansexual – The word pan means “all.” While you might think that being pansexual means a person is attracted to all genders and sexual orientations, it actually means that people who identify as pansexual are attracted to others regardless of the person’s gender or sexual orientation. For a pansexual, sexual attraction is quite fluid, and they might be sexually attracted to their own gender, the opposite gender, a transgender individual or another type of gender identity.
• Queer – For some people, sexual orientation isn’t something that lends itself to a neat and tidy label. The University of California, Santa Barbara states, “‘Queer’ serves as an umbrella term for all non-heterosexual, non-cisgender identities… For those who feel that they cannot define their sexual orientation, or that their feelings of sexual, romantic, or emotional attachment do not fit into a specific category, identifying as queer may ease the tension of a set sexual description.”

For some people, their gender identity doesn’t line up with their birth sex. This is wholly different from sexual orientation, which relates only to sexual attraction. People who feel a disconnect between their gender identity and their anatomical sex are most often referred to as transgender individuals.

As GLAAD explains, “Trying to change a person’s gender identity is no more successful than trying to change a person’s sexual orientation — it doesn’t work. So most transgender people seek to bring their bodies into alignment with their gender identity. This is called transition.” However, you can also be a transgender person without transitioning. The decision to transition is deeply personal, and some people choose not to change their birth sex. It’s also important to note that, just like cisgender individuals, transgender people can be any sexual orientation, including straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer.

There is also a separate group of people known as Intersex. In past years, the term “hermaphrodite” was often used to describe Intersex people, but this term is now outdated. Intersex individuals are born with anatomical sex organs that are ambiguous. As Dr. Paul Joannides at Psychology Today explains, “One of the challenges in explaining Intersex is that we often confuse it with transgender. Yet very few people who are transgender are Intersex. In many ways, the conditions aren’t even related. Intersex tends to be about the reproductive organs that aren’t clearly male or female, while transgender is about a person’s experience of being male or female.”

It’s normal — and totally okay! — to have questions about transgender and Intersex people. The important thing is to treat everyone with respect and to learn which questions are appropriate (and inappropriate) to ask. Here’s a quick list of 10 questions to avoid.

Celebrating All Gender Identities and Sexual Orientations

However you define gender identity and sexual orientation, most people can agree that sex is something to be celebrated and enjoyed. Let us know how you define sex positivity by tweeting us @ASTROGLIDE. Also, don’t forget to score your free sample.