8 Ways to Rekindle Romance After the Kids Have Moved Out

By Dr. Jess Relationships

Parenting is a full-time job and it can take its toll on a marriage and the emotional intimacy between the two committed partners. So, it’s no surprise that many couples are looking for ways to rekindle romance and increase intimacy with their spouse after having kids or after the kids move out. Here are a few tips for empty nesters looking for ways to rekindle romance for a healthy relationship.

Spend time apart

With a newly emptied nest, it’s easy for people in a long-term relationship to fall into the habit of doing everything together from grocery shopping to cleaning the house. However, performing mundane tasks as a team only serves to replace your roles as co-parents as opposed to encouraging romantic reconnection. Spending time apart is just as important as enjoying your time together, so sign up for a class or join separate clubs so that you have lots to talk about when you are together, including during date night.

Go back to the beginning

Take a trip down memory lane to the honeymoon phase of your romantic relationship. Whether you visit the site of your first date or replay music from your wedding, spending quality time recalling the happiest and most romantic moments offers a reminder of why you fell in love in the first place.

Redesign one area of your home with romance in mind

Over the years, you likely transformed your home into a kid and teen-friendly haven and now it’s time for a design with adults in mind. Help rekindle your relationship by converting the kids’ rooms into entertainment areas, hobby rooms, or a home gym as a reminder that you’re starting a fresh chapter as a couple.

Invest in a prop or toy

Sometimes props are all the encouragement you need to remind yourselves that you’re sexual beings in a romantic relationship. Keep ASTROGLIDE’s Warming Liquid on hand for afternoon sessions (there’s nothing to stop you now!) or buy a few extra pillows for the bed to be used as inspiration for new positions during a sexy date night full of physical intimacy.

how to rekindle the romance after kids with sex toys and astroglide lube

Schedule relationship check-ins

You may feel uncomfortable at first, but short monthly check-ins may be just what you need to heighten emotional intimacy and rekindle the flame. Start examining your relationship by answering three simple questions over brunch:

  1. What is going well in your relationship?
  2. What can you change to make your partner happier in your long-term relationship?
  3. What do you appreciate about your partner?
  4. Hang out with other couples

Hang out with other couples

Happiness is contagious (and so is divorce), so surround yourself with happy friends and feed off of their energy by spending quality time with them. Being around healthy relationships can rub off on your own.

Plan a trip without the kids

Being alone as a couple may feel like a foreign concept, but you’ll have to get used to it sooner rather than later. If possible, book a short getaway on your way home from dropping the kid(s) off at college to rekindle your relationship. Some successful empty nest celebrations of love might include a wine tour, a spa getaway, or even a night at a nice hotel. Or better yet, jump right back into the honeymoon phase of your relationship by rebooking your honeymoon!

Dream together

You likely put your lives and careers on hold temporarily while the kids were still growing, but now it’s time to refocus your energy on yourselves. Sit down and make a list of dreams you’d like to live out. From scuba diving and salsa dancing to taking a pilgrimage or visiting your parents’ home country, anything goes! Post the list on your fridge and cross off the items one at a time.


Have ideas for how to rekindle romance with your partner after kids? Share with us on Twitter!

Images are for illustrative purposes only.