How to Have Sex Like a God: The Complete Guide for MenSexual Health
Most guys don’t have it so easy. Even if they roll up to the first date in an Aston Martin sporting the jawline of James Dean and the comedic genius of Will Ferrell, all it takes is one night of terrible sex to completely ruin their chances at long-term bliss (or a solid sexual rep).
And while it’s easy to pick up golf and grilling tips from friends, guys are far less likely to share sex tips with each other. So how can they improve their skills?
Don’t worry — we’re here to help. Follow this guide and we guarantee you’ll soon be the number one lover-man in your postal district (or at least in the top ten).
The #1 Sex Tip for Guys: Become a Mind Reader
Ever wonder why clairvoyants claim to have predictive powers but none of them ever seem to win the lottery? The answer isn’t in a crystal ball — it’s in the ancient art of “cold reading.”
These mediums begin by making general suggestions and paying very, very close attention to how people react. Nodding, leaning forward, raising eyebrows — these are all signs that the psychic’s predictions are on the right track. By backing out of the suggestions that seem to be dead ends and proceeding cautiously down the paths that produce positive reactions, mediums amaze their audiences, even if they don’t have a connection to the spirit world.
You can use the same kind of skill to seem like a mind-reader in the bedroom. Here’s how:
Like a psychic, start with a general approach.
Don’t pull any “signature moves” right out of the gate.
Pay attention to the feedback you’re receiving.
The easiest feedback is of course verbal. If your partner says “that feels good” don’t switch to another move or vary your pace right away.
Not all sexual feedback comes in the form of words.
Pay attention to sighs, moans and quicker breaths — these all mean you’re on the right track!
Body language during sex may tell you even more.
Do they pull away? Jump or jolt? Do they move your hands from where they are to another part of their body? These are signs that it’s time to ditch your current move and try something else.
Respect your partner’s boundaries.
If you have a signature move you’re super proud of and they say, “that hurts,” “stop doing that” or let you know in some other way that they’re not a fan, don’t try to convince them. Abort mission and try something else!
Give Your Partner Feedback
When it comes to sex tips for guys, “reading” your partner’s mind is incredibly important — but giving them feedback might be even more crucial. If you want to have the best sex of your life, it isn’t just about telling your partner what you like and don’t like — HOW you give your feedback matters too.
For great sex, here are tips to follow:
Talk about what feels good.
One of the most important sex tips for guys is to give positive feedback — moan, sigh, say “that feels amazing” etc. when you’re enjoying yourself.
Instead of complaining, offer a sexy alternative.
If your partner has been going down on you for hours and you can’t wait to do the deed, instead of saying “UGH why are you taking so long!?” say “I can’t wait to be inside you.” They’ll usually take the hint without their confidence getting damaged in the process.
Keep it general when you compliment their body.
You may love tiny breasts or a huge butt, but the very things you find sexy about your partner might be sources of major anxiety for them. So instead of talking about the size or shape of their body, keep it general. Say things like, “you’re so sexy” or “your legs are so hot.”
Don’t leave them guessing after the deed.
A simple, “That was fun!” after you’re done gives them some validation and also lets them know you’d be interested in a second-round at some point.
For the Best Sex of Your Life: Speed Is Key
As many a girl’s Instagram bio proclaims, “Life isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey.” So while you may have tunnel vision on the orgasm waiting for you at the finish line, try not to run full speed until you reach it. Slow down and take a detour or two.
If you’ve ever wondered how to have longer sex, taking control of your pace is key, but in the heat of the moment, it’s easier said than done. These sex tips for guys can help:
Refocus on foreplay.
Kissing and caressing aren’t things that should only happen before penetration. You’ll have the hottest sex ever when you continue these actions throughout your sex session.
Running out of ideas? Check out these 6 sexy foreplay tips you’ll want to try tonight!
Give the nipples some love.
Nipples are packed with nerve endings, making them powerful erogenous zones. Slow your thrusts and give your partner’s nipples some attention by gently licking them up and down, licking around them in a circular motion and sucking on them lightly. It’ll drive them wild and allow you a chance to catch your breath.
Slow your breathing.
You don’t need to get into the lotus position and start meditating, but breathing deeply for four seconds and exhaling for four seconds can help slow your heart rate, decrease blood flow and help you last longer in bed.
Want to Have the Hottest Sex Ever? Be a Giver.
Blow jobs are like pizza slices — if you’re handing them out for free, 9 out of 10 people are going to jump on it.
But a far smaller percentage is going to return the favor. “I just don’t like giving oral sex!” they’ll say as if their partners woke up that day thinking “I hope I get to give a blowjob today!” Shout-out to those of you who do — you’re the true MVPs. But in the words of Sex and the City’s Samantha, “Honey, it’s called a job for a reason!”
If you’re happy to receive, you should be happy to reciprocate.
This doesn’t just go for oral sex, it should also apply to other areas of your lovemaking. Does your girlfriend constantly give you back rubs before sex? Does your boyfriend always agree to do your favorite sex positions, even the ones he’s not that into? Think about what makes you feel best before, during and after sex and ask yourself if you’re putting in the same level of work.
The Best Sex Begins When You Lose Your Fear of Taking Control
If there’s one sex tip for guys that you should always remember, it’s that when it comes to sex, consent isn’t just important — it’s critical. You should never engage in a sexual act you’re not sure you have consent for or pressure someone who seems upset or unwilling to have sex. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t tell a partner what you want, or ask them for what you’re into.
Taking the reins in the bedroom can lead to some of the best sex of your life, not just for you but for your partner as well. When you say things like “I want to taste you” or “get on top of me” you’re not just being powerfully sexy, you’re also being passionate. Asking for what you want or giving instructions can help you enjoy yourself more, but it can also take the pressure off of your partner who may be asking themselves “are they into this?”
Remember you don’t have to wait until you’re both naked to be decisive. Send a sexy text while your partner’s at work letting them know exactly what you want to do to them when they get home. Getting in the mood early will lead to some great sex later.
Learn the Locations of the Male and Female G-Spots
People talk about g-spots like they’re UFOs or sasquatches. Sure, some people claim to have found them, but do they really exist? The truth is out there, friends, and the truth is this — knowing your g-spot and your partner’s g-spot might just be the key to the hottest sex ever.
How to find the female g-spot
If you love the ladies, do yourself a favor and read our Ultimate Guide to the Female G-Spot. Contrary to popular belief, the female g-spot isn’t a spot at all.
ASTROGLIDE’s Resident Sexologist Dr. Jess explains: “The G-spot is not a distinct entity, nor is it located inside of the vagina; it can be felt through the vagina and when stimulated, the tissue begins to swell,” says Dr. Jess. “As opposed to being a singular organ, it is believed that its sensitivity is connected to corollary stimulation of the female prostate (previously referred to as Skene’s glands), urethral sponge and inner clitoris.”
Complicated? Maybe a bit, but don’t worry — our Ultimate Guide can help you find and stimulate the female g-spot to give her a mind-blowing orgasm.
How to find the male g-spot
Does your partner have a penis? If so, they also have a g-spot! Stimulating the male g-spot basically means stimulating the prostate gland and there’s more than one way to do it.
The easiest way is to press gently on the skin between the anus and balls (the perineum). You can massage this area by using two fingers to “pulse” as you’re stroking, sucking, or having sex. Do this right before he orgasms to be known as the man who gave him the hottest sex ever.
You can also stimulate the male g-spot from the inside. Read our complete guide to the male g-spot to learn how!
20 More Sex Tips for Guys
We’ve covered a lot of the basics, but don’t text your hookup yet — we’re not done! Here are 20 more sex tips for guys who want to make love like superheroes:
1. Trim your nails.
This one is especially important for ANYONE who has sex with ladies. No one wants to get fingered by Freddy Kreuger. (There’s a reason we also included this tip in our beginner’s guide to lesbian sex!)
2. Ease into new experiences.
Dr. Jess says, “Wait until you’re both really turned on before you try something new. As you become aroused, the chemical changes in your body help you to relax and be more uninhibited.”
3. Download an app.
Wondering how to have sex longer? Darren J Smith founder of pillow.io recommends both his app and one called Edge Stamina. Smith says, “It teaches guys how to control their ejaculation and last longer in bed.”
4. Don’t be obsessed with sex positions.
Smith continues, “As a guy who previously thought that learning a new acrobatic position every week would make him a better lover, I now suggest guys focus on the subtleties of lovemaking – that undivided attention, the eye contact, that soft delicate touch on the neck, empathy, openness, a variety of kissing techniques… there’s so much more than just “positions!”
5. Have a sense of humor.
You aren’t the first person to fall off the bed or pass gas right in the middle of great sex. Don’t get angry or flustered — laugh! There’s nothing sexier than a sense of humor.
6. Don’t disappear off the map.
If you expect to have sex with someone more than once, don’t wait more than 24 hours after sex to send them at least a text message. Even if your encounters are purely casual, waiting days to get in touch after a night of great sex just looks like you’re playing games. Who has time for that?
7. Do that come hither thing.
This tip comes from comedian Billy Procida, host of The Manwhore Podcast. “The ‘come hither motion’ is a nuanced but critical tool to have in your sexual toolbox. Using one or two fingers (remember, listen to her body and sense what her body is asking for), gently thrust in and out as you flex your fingers like Obi-Wan summoning a lightsaber. Every woman’s ‘spot’ is in a slightly different place, so pay attention to her moans and words (“More shallow!” “Up more!”).”
8. Don’t get wasted.
In Dr. Jess’s words: “Drink a little less than you’d like to. A drink or two may help to loosen you up, but excessive alcohol can actually increase nervousness and impair sexual functioning.”
9. Use lube.
Sure, seems like an obvious one coming from us but it’s still important. Remember that using lube doesn’t mean you’re doing a “bad job.” It just means you want your partner to be comfortable and enjoy themselves as much as possible! Not sure where to start? Here are 10 great ways to use lube, and our advice for introducing lube to the bedroom.
10. Remember you’re not in a porno.
Relationship Consultant Benjamin Ritter says, “Porn producers have only one purpose and that’s to make money. It is scripted mainly for men to enjoy and does not usually depict sex that women (or a lot of men) want to experience. Stop treating your partner like a porn star.
11. Don’t ignore the clitoris.
Many women simply can’t reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation, so don’t ignore it! You can learn more about the clitoris here.
12. Don’t treat the clit like an enemy base.
While you shouldn’t ignore it, you also shouldn’t go full-throttle at it. There are a lot of nerve endings in that little guy! Be gentle and play close attention to your partner’s reactions
13. How to have longer sex: practice.
“You can train your body to last longer during sex by practicing during masturbation,” says Ritter. “When you are masturbating take the time to be aware of your levels of arousal, and as you feel yourself coming closer to orgasm, stop. Continue doing this for the length of time you want to have sex. Once you are able to identify your levels of arousal you can learn to avoid reaching orgasm until you decide.”
Nervous in the sack? Here are 10 ways to overcome sexual performance anxiety. Relax and have the time of your life!
14. For great sex, pay attention to their whole body.
Ritter says, “There are places on our bodies that rarely get touched but are extremely sensitive; i.e. the inner thigh, back of the neck, the lower spine. Pay attention to these areas to make sex a unique and complete body experience.”
15. Be an early bird.
Sometimes the best time to have sex is in the morning — you’re both relaxed and rested! Switch up your routine and try having sex when you wake up.
16. Freshen up first.
“Always approach the bedroom squeaky clean,” says psychologist Dr. Fran Walfish. “Shower regularly, lotion up and spray perfume or cologne (lightly). This not only makes you appealing to your partner but raises your personal confidence sexually.”
17. Know when to call it quits.
“Sometimes one of you just isn’t really feeling it. You’ve had sex for a while and something is off, or you feel she’s done. It’s ok to stop. You don’t have to be a marathon man.” says Ritter. “Respecting the mood of the situation will earn you tons of points and make you a person they want to sleep with more often.”
18. Don’t force your partner to be confident if they’re not.
Everyone feels differently about their own bodies and sexuality, and your partner isn’t going to have the hottest sex ever if they feel like they’re performing or being forced way out of their comfort zone. There’s nothing wrong with candlelight or getting busy under the covers.
19. Buy some “man-gerie.”
Women shouldn’t be the only ones out there with sexy undergarments (and no one is turned on by your dirty Spongebob draws). You don’t have to get crazy with thongs and silk boxers, but you should always wear new underwear that makes you feel sexy.
20. Don’t be shy about sex toys.
The right sex toy can turn good sex into great sex. Ask your partner if they have a favorite toy — they’ll feel more comfortable using theirs than trying one that’s new. Check out our Complete Guide to Sex Toys for Couples and see what excites both of you!
“Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.” Garrison Keillor
We’ve thrown a lot of sex tips for guys at you in this post, and we know it’s a lot to take in all at once. But if we can leave you with one final tip for great sex, let it be this: stay in the moment. Read these tips, try to remember them and put them to use, but don’t try to cross them off your mental checklist while you’re thrusting. Stay present, connect and above all enjoy yourself!
And if you want even more sex advice for men, here are 3 ways to be a gentleman on the streets and a freak in the sheets.
Know some sex tips we didn’t share here? Think you know the secret to having the hottest sex ever? Share the love and tweet your tips to @ASTROGLIDE!
Images are for illustrative purposes only.