Gone are the days of treating lube solely as a solution to sexual challenges or an add-on reserved for special occasions and so-called advanced pursuits. We now understand that lubricant is an essential part of a pleasure-positive, body-responsive approach to sex that prioritizes comfort, ease, and presence over performance or problem-solving. Having said that, many of us still only reach for lube when we’re feeling dry or uncomfortable and some assume that using it signals that something is awry when nothing could be farther from the truth. Lube is, in fact, a pleasure tool and not specifically a fix. 

Silicone lube is one formulation that can sometimes feel intimidating if you’re new to it, but it’s also a great option that offers unique benefits, as it’s long-lasting, resistant to water and formulated to create cushioning and reduce friction. This makes it especially useful for sex play and techniques that emphasize sustained sensations, slower pacing and more presence. This guide focuses on practical, silicone-specific techniques designed to help you move from curiosity to confidence so that lube becomes a natural part of how you experience pleasure. 

Let’s start with a few silicone lube need-to-knows: 

• Silicone lube sits on the skin rather than absorbing quickly. This means it can create a consistent glide over time even if you’re gliding, twisting or sliding around.
• Silicone lube tends to be longer lasting than water-based versions and it’s also waterproof, so it’s perfect for tub and shower play.
• You only need a few drops, as it’s highly concentrated. Start with a small amount so you can control the glide and sensation.
• Silicone lube is not generally compatible with silicone sex toys unless you see a specific label that says it has been tested with specific product. 

You might consider using silicone lube if you…

• Enjoy handjobs (on all body parts)
• Indulge in anal play -- external and/or internal
• Find that water-based lubes dry out quickly.
• Experience vaginal dryness related to stress, hormones, medication, or life stage.
• Have a desire to slow down and prolong the experience.
• Play solo but have trouble staying in the moment and want a new way to tune into the sensations.
• Like to get frisky in the shower or bathtub.
• Prefer fewer interruptions during sex play (i.e. you don’t want to stop to get more lube)

With that said, let’s dive into our tips and techniques.

Temperature play for sensory contrast

Silicone lube can retain temperature for longer periods of time, and you can experiment with contrasts in hot and cool sensations using your hands, mouth and breath. Try one or all of these techniques: 

Rub a small amount between your palms before sensually swiping the warmed lube against your lover’s skin. Hover your palm over their vulva, perineum or other sensitive spot to create anticipation and then press firmly before gently pulsing to create warmth. Or warm up a few drops between your thumb and middle finger and then slide them in a vee-formation over their genitals. You can bring your thumb and index finger together in one direction and then open them up as you slide in the opposite direction. 

For cooler sensations, apply a few drops to your index and middle fingers and purse your lips (like you’re blowing out a birthday candle) to blow cool air on the wet spot before sliding along their pubic mound. To alternate between warm and cool sensations, apply lube in a straight line (e.g. over their shaft). Breathe gently with a wide-open mouth over the wet trail to warm in one direction and then inhale as you move back in the other direction to create a cooling sensation. 

Slow hand-play

The humble handjob may be the most underrated tool in our sexual toolbox. And a slow handjob? That’s a whole different level of pleasure. When we’re excited, we tend to rush and move more quickly than we realize. But when we slow down (and when the lube keeps things nice and slick), every sensation can feel more intense, exaggerated and pleasurable. So, take a deep breath and try these slow silicone hand techniques.

Slow techniques for the phallus:

The slow-mo glide. Apply a small amount of silicone lube to your palm and wrap your hand loosely around the shaft. Move slowly from base to tip in one continuous motion. Pause briefly at the top before reversing direction and let the pause stretch the sensation before you move again. 

The pressure edge.  Start with a very light grip and minimal pressure as you glide from base to tip. After several slow strokes, tighten your grip slightly for one or two passes and then soften again. The contrast in pressure keeps sensation interesting without increasing speed. 

The one-way two-hand transition. Start with one hand at the base moving slowly upward along the shaft. As it reaches the tip, place your other hand at the base and continue the motion without breaking rhythm (so you’re only stroking upward with one hand at a time). Silicone lube keeps the hand-off smooth, so the sensation feels continuous.

Slow techniques for the vulva:

The cradle. This one is so simple, but so beautiful. Apply a few drops of silicone lube to your palm and warm it up with your breath. Rest your palm over the pubic mound and let your fingers drape naturally over the labia, creating a gentle cradle. Stay here for a moment before introducing movement, allowing warmth and pressure to spread across the area.
The lift and settle. Using your lubed-up fingertips (index and middle fingers), lightly pull the labia upward toward the pubic bone and then slowly release. Repeat a few times, noticing how lifting and settling can shift sensation without needing repetitive motion.

The two-hand exchange. Let one hand glide over the vulva while the other hand rests nearby. Rather than following the same path, alternate hands so each introduces a slightly different angle or pressure. Silicone lube keeps the transitions fluid, so touch feels continuous rather than mechanical. 

The perimeter trace. Trace slow, intentional paths around the outer edges of the vulva before moving inward. Circling the perimeter can increase awareness and arousal without overstimulating a specific spot.

Anal Exploration

Silicone lube is ideal for back door play, as it stays slick on the skin to reduce friction, which is essential since the butt won’t self-lubricate. If you’re new to anal exploration, start externally, move slowly and consider experimenting on your own before playing with a partner. Try these techniques to get started:

Apply silicone lube to your thumb and swirl around the pucker (the butt hole) externally like your tracing daisy petals around in a sensual circle. Try stroking with your thumb between the cheeks and down against the perineum (the sensitive stretch of skin between the butt and the genitals). Once you’re aroused and relaxed, pulse against the pucker gently and rhythmically. If you’re playing with a partner, consider using your knuckles (which can’t slip inside) to cultivate safety and trust. Add extra lube if you’re going to eventually slide inside. Breathe deeply as you allow your body to move toward the lubed up finger. A slow, very shallow insertion can be enough to send waves of pleasure across the body.

Glide, Positioning, and Full-Body Techniques

Beyond playing with your hands, silicone lube is also designed for full-body play, as it stays slick over time. With silicone lube, you can experiment with different positions and movements using the following techniques as inspiration: 

The body glide. Apply a small amount of silicone lube to areas where your bodies naturally meet. This might include your inner thighs, pubic mound, hips, lower belly and chest. Allow your bodies to slide against one another without friction as you shift positions or move together. You may find that a little lube against your skin makes transitions feel smoother and more connected.

The side-by-side seal. This position works especially well with silicone lube because it relies on continuous body contact and subtle movement rather than thrusting.
Before lying down, apply a small amount of silicone lube to the outer vulva or base of the phallus as well as the inner thighs. Lie on your sides facing each other. As you settle in, let your legs and hips slide together rather than lifting and repositioning. Keep one leg draped over your partner’s thigh and use small pelvic movements or gentle rocking instead of large motions.

The director’s chair. Oftentimes riding positions can feel risky because they involve upright posture, lots of exposure and the pressure of body weight. Combined, these factors can create extra friction and risk of injury without glide, but silicone lube can help to put your minds and bodies at ease. For this position, one partner sits upright on a chair or on the edge of the bed and the other straddles their legs. You can face one another, or you can face away. Use lube to experiment with different heights, speeds and angles by sliding slightly forward or back on the lap. You can lead forward or backward and because silicone lube is longer lasting, these subtle adjustments feel smoother and allow you to stay present while playing. 

Silicone lube changes how you experience touch and pleasure. It can prolong the experience and help you to slow down, but you may also enjoy it during quickies if you want to get more creative with techniques and positions.

Here’s to more touching, gliding and playing without pressure.